Tis The Season To Be Exhausted

A Compassionate Guide to Avoiding Christmas Burnout

by Dr Sarah Jane Khalid, Holistic Psychologist

There is a quiet little secret many of us share during the holidays. Amidst the glittering lights and joyful carols, there’s a whisper of deep exhaustion, a feeling of being stretched too thin for too long. If that sounds familiar, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault.

We are often sold a picture of the “perfect Christmas,” one filled with non-stop cheer, flawless bountiful meals, gorgeous table settings and beautifully wrapped presents. And chasing this ideal can leave us feeling drained, anxious, and anything but merry.

This year, I invite you to do things differently. Let's use a little bit of psychological wisdom to protect our peace and find the genuine joy in the season. You are giving yourself a permission slip to be kinder to yourself.

1. Give Yourself the Gift of “Enough” (The Science of the “Good Enough” Holiday)

In the 1950s, a psychologist called Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of the “Good Enough Mother.” His idea was that parents do not need to be perfect; they just need to be “good enough” to raise well-adjusted children. This concept is a lifesaver for the holidays.

Instead of striving for a perfect Christmas, aim for a “good enough” one. Yes, the turkey might be a little dry or burnt, the wrapping paper might not match, and you might buy mince pies instead of baking them from scratch. And that is more than okay! “Good enough” creates space for authenticity, connection, and, most importantly, rest. Give yourself permission to lower the bar from Martha Stewart to Happy and Present.

2. Protect Your Energy: It's Okay to Say “No, Thank You”

Psychology has long studied a concept called “ego depletion,” which suggests that we have a limited pool of mental resources for self-control and decision-making. Every party you feel obligated to attend, every extra task you take on, drains that pool.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being the guardian of your own energy. You do not need to say yes to every event or fulfil every request. A gentle, “Thank you so much for the invitation! I won't be able to make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time,” is a complete sentence.

Prioritize the events and traditions that truly fill your cup and let the rest go without guilt. Protecting your peace is not selfish; it's essential.

3. Find Your Silent Night: The Power of a Pause

The constant stimulation of the season can overwhelm our nervous systems. Research on stress and the nervous system shows that we need moments of quiet to counterbalance the fight-or-flight response that busyness can trigger.

Schedule a Christmas Silent Night for yourself before Christmas Eve. It could be 15 minutes with a cup of tea and no phone, a short walk in the crisp air, or simply sitting by the Christmas tree lights in silence. This is not wasted time; it is an investment in your well-being that allows you to reset and find your centre.

4. Connect Over Comparison: Choose Presence over Presents

A famous Harvard study on adult development has consistently found that strong social connections are the single biggest predictor of long-term happiness and health. The holidays, at their core, are about connection. Yet social media often twists this into a competition of who has the most photogenic family or the most extravagant gifts.

When you feel the pull to compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel, gently redirect your focus. Put your phone down. Play a simple board game. Ask a relative a question about their childhood Christmases. True, warm, face-to-face connection is the real magic of the season, and it is a far more powerful antidepressant than any number of “likes” or “loves” on posts that give a brief dopamine hit.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, teaches that being kind to ourselves in moments of failure or stress is crucial for resilience. When you burn the Christmas cookies or forget to send a card, what does your inner voice say?

If you make a mistake, talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. You might say, “Oh sweetheart, you're trying to do so much! It's okay that the cookies got a little crispy. We will laugh about this later.” This simple shift from self-criticism to self-kindness can dissolve a huge amount of holiday stress.

Please Know That Your Well-Being is the Greatest Gift

This Christmas, remember that the most important person you can give a gift to is yourself. The gift of rest. The gift of boundaries. The gift of “good enough.” This is a reclamation of our time.

My wish for you is for this season to be less about performance and more about presence. Less about perfection and more about peace. You deserve a holiday that feels joyful, not joyless. Be gentle with your heart and body — you are doing better than you imagine.

Wishing you a calm and connected Christmas,Dr Sarah Jane Khalid