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March is positioned at a psychological crossroads. It is neither the ambitious beginning of January nor the reflective close of the year. Instead, it represents transition, a space where change becomes visible but not yet complete. And transitions, psychologically, are powerful. Psychology research shows us that seasonal shifts affect more than just the weather. The increased daylight exposure influences mood-regulating neurochemicals and energy levels, often improving alertness and motivation. As routines subtly adjust, our cognitive systems become more flexible. Change in the external environment encourages internal re-assessment and this is a helpful moment. Behavioural scientist, Katy Milkman describes the “fresh start effect,” where temporal landmarks such as a new month or season can create a sense of psychological distance from past habits. March can provides a natural opportunity to reset intentions without the intensity often attached to New Year’s resolutions. There is also psychological value in recognizing transition itself. Periods of in- between can feel uncomfortable because they lack clear identity. Yet research on change and adaptation suggests that growth frequently occurs in these liminal spaces, when we are adjusting, questioning, and refining. An invitation for this month is to consider a quieter approach: Clarify one priority that truly matters. Remove one habit or commitment that drains energy. Reconnect with one person or professional relationship. March does not demand reinvention. It offers recalibration. In the subtle shift from winter to spring, we are reminded that progress often begins with awareness and clarity which leads to momentum.

Love and attachment are not simply sentimental concepts, rather they are foundational psychological needs. Robert Sternberg, a psychologist who conceptualized love as comprising three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. While commonly applied to romantic relationships, these components translate meaningfully into professional life. Intimacy reflects trust and openness in collegial relationships. Commitment shows up as loyalty to teams and shared goals/objectives. Passion can be reframed as engagement which can drives innovation and sustained motivation. For high-achieving individuals, February can also surface subtle social comparison pressures. It is not uncommon to curate portrayals of “perfect” relationships or idealized work–life balance. Positive psychology research suggests that chronic comparison can erode satisfaction and self-esteem even among objectively successful individuals. Awareness of this cognitive bias is the first step toward mitigating its impact. Importantly, connection extends beyond romance. Research by Barbara Fredrickson highlights the power of “micro-moments” of positive resonance e.g., brief interactions characterized by mutual warmth or understanding. In professional settings, these may include a thoughtful acknowledgment in a meeting, a moment of shared humour, or sincere mentorship. Such interactions strengthen social bonds and, over time, enhance both emotional well-being and workplace effectiveness. For high-achieving individuals, February can serve as a strategic pause. These points are worth considering: Investing intentionally in key relationships both in personal and professional life. Practicing deliberate gratitude toward colleagues or partners Reassessing whether achievement has side-lined your connections Psychological evidence consistently shows that meaningful relationships are among the strongest predictors of long-term fulfilment and physical health.

Some forms of burnout are easy to miss. They affect people who look as though they are doing well on the outside. They are capable, reliable, productive, and often the person everyone depends on. They keep going, meet deadlines, and carry a lot without always showing the cost. That is part of what makes high-performance burnout so difficult. It does not usually start with collapse. It often starts with strengths. Ambition, discipline, responsibility, and care for others can take someone far. But when those strengths become tied to self-worth, fear of failure, or the idea that rest has to be earned, they can slowly turn into something draining. At first, the pattern can feel rewarding. Someone takes on more, works harder, and pushes through. They may feel accomplished, needed, and even proud of how much they can handle. But over time, the pressure builds. Sleep becomes less restful. Switching off becomes harder. Small tasks feel heavier. Concentration slips. Instead of slowing down, they often respond by pushing even harder. This is where burnout becomes confusing. Many high performers believe that if they are struggling, they simply need to be more disciplined. They treat exhaustion as a problem to solve rather than a sign that something is overloaded. They may tell themselves they are being lazy, weak, or inefficient, when really they are running on empty. Often there is something deeper going on underneath. For some people, being productive has become closely linked with feeling safe, valued, or good enough. Stepping back then feels threatening, not just inconvenient. It can feel like letting people down, losing momentum, or no longer being the person who holds everything together. This is why “just rest” is not always enough. Burnout is not only about needing time off. It is often about changing the way someone relates to work, pressure, and themselves. If the same perfectionism, over-responsibility, and self-criticism remain in place, the cycle often starts again. Early signs can include constantly feeling on edge, struggling to switch off, feeling irritable, flat, foggy, or emotionally distant, and losing enjoyment in things that used to matter. Some people notice they are less patient with others. Some procrastinate more, not because they do not care, but because they are overwhelmed. The way forward is usually not about becoming less ambitious. It is about building a healthier relationship with ambition. That might mean noticing the unhelpful rules in the background, such as “I must always cope” or “my value comes from what I achieve.” It may mean learning to pace yourself, set limits, and speak to yourself with more honesty and less harshness. Burnout recovery is rarely neat. It often involves guilt, discomfort, and old habits creeping back in. But it can also be an opportunity to step out of a way of living that is no longer sustainable. A healthier form of high performance is possible. One that still includes drive and commitment, but also allows room for rest, boundaries, and being human. Burnout is not a sign that you are failing. More often, it is a sign that you have been carrying too much for too long without enough space to recover.

Anxiety is one of the most common experiences women report during perimenopause, writes Dr Shabnam Hariri, and it can show up well before the “classic” symptoms like hot flushes or night sweats. For many women, anxiety is the first sign that something is shifting. It can feel as though your mind has become noisier overnight, and you’re suddenly worrying about everything, even when life on the outside looks much the same. What’s tricky is that a lot of women don’t immediately connect anxiety with perimenopause. They tend to assume they’re “just stressed” or “not coping as well as they used to,” and it can feel confusing or even a bit frightening when this doesn’t match how you normally see yourself. And if you’ve always been someone who manages well, it can be especially unsettling to notice your nervous system feeling more reactive than usual. Women are generally more likely than men to experience anxiety, and hormonal change is one of the reasons the perimenopause can intensify that vulnerability. As hormones fluctuate, your stress system can become easier to trigger, and anxiety symptoms can become more frequent or more intense. Sometimes perimenopause also acts like a spotlight. It doesn’t create all the struggles out of nowhere, but it can bring to the surface pressures, unfinished emotional knots, or long-standing patterns of over-responsibility and over-thinking that you’ve been carrying for years. Anxiety can happen at any point in perimenopause, including the early stage when your periods haven’t changed much at all. It can start subtly, almost like a background hum: a bit more tension, a bit more irritability, a sense of being “on edge,” or finding that your thoughts loop more than they used to. Because it creeps in gradually, you might not immediately realise it’s linked to perimenopause. There’s also a very real layering effect. Perimenopause can bring disrupted sleep, changes in energy, and shifts in how your body feels day to day. When sleep quality drops, everything becomes harder: your tolerance narrows, your emotions sit closer to the surface, and your brain becomes more likely to interpret things as urgent or threatening. If you’re also dealing with gut symptoms, immune changes, or ongoing life stress, your system can start to feel overloaded, and anxiety can take hold more easily. If you’re experiencing this, you really aren’t alone. And it doesn’t mean you’re “failing,” “weak,” or “going backwards.” Anxiety can happen to anyone, including women who have never had any mental health difficulties before. Perimenopause is a major transition, and it often requires a new way of understanding yourself and caring for your mind and body. Some physical symptoms of perimenopausal anxiety can include a fast heart rate or palpitations, nausea or a churning stomach, shaking, sweating, a dry mouth, chest tightness or pain, headaches, faster breathing, panic attacks, sleep disruption, and feeling more irritable or snappy than usual. When these sensations arrive, it can be easy to misread them as a sign that something is seriously wrong, which can then feed the anxiety further. So what causes perimenopause-related anxiety? During perimenopause and menopause, many changes can be happening at the same time, so it isn’t always possible to point to one single cause. Anxiety can sometimes sit alongside low mood or depression, and both can be influenced by falling oestrogen levels. Oestrogen also interacts with cortisol, which is one of the body’s key stress hormones. When oestrogen drops, cortisol can rise, and that can make your stress response feel more activated. There are likely other hormonal and brain-chemical factors involved too, and it often becomes a “perfect storm” of biology, life stress, sleep disruption, and emotional load. The good news is that anxiety is treatable, and you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through this. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based therapy used by clinical psychologists to help you understand how anxiety works in your mind and body, and to develop steadier, healthier ways of responding to it. CBT helps you change unhelpful thinking patterns, reduce the behaviours that unintentionally keep anxiety going, and build practical strategies so you can feel more grounded and more like yourself again. CBT is also recommended by NICE for anxiety and depression, including in the context of perimenopause. Many women describe being caught in a vicious cycle during this stage: anxiety leads to poor sleep and fatigue, fatigue lowers resilience and mood, and then everything feels harder to cope with. CBT works with that cycle directly, helpin g you interrupt it gently but effectively. A clinical psychologist can use CBT to target the specific ways perimenopause is showing up for you, whether that’s anger and mood swings, insomnia, intrusive or overwhelming thoughts, low self-esteem, or a sense that you’re constantly “not quite on top of things.” It can also support you in changing coping strategies that may have crept in during this time, such as drinking more than you want to, comfort eating, binge eating, or withdrawing from people. Research also suggests that perimenopausal symptoms like hot flushes, night sweats, and anxiety can be triggered or worsened by life stressors. When you learn to manage stress differently, your nervous system often becomes less reactive, and symptoms can reduce in frequency or intensity. The aim isn’t to pretend this is easy, or to minimise what your body is doing, but to help you feel steadier, safer inside yourself while you move through it. Perimenopause is serious and it can be genuinely challenging. It can last several years, and for some women symptoms continue after periods stop entirely. That’s why it matters that you feel properly supported, not brushed off, not told you’re overreacting, and not left to figure it out alone. Therapy should feel like a place where you can exhale, make sense of what’s happening, and be met with calm, evidence-based guidance. Talk therapy with a clinical psychologist can offer a confidential and supportive space where you can process what’s going on, feel heard and understood, and make sense of the emotional and identity shifts that can come with perimenopause. It can help you learn practical strategies for handling stress, anxious thinking, and low mood, and also give you space to troubleshoot the real-life pressures that often collide at this stage, such as family dynamics, relationship strain, work stress, health worries, changing roles, and a shifting sense of who you are. And it can help you set new goals for this next chapter, with steady support to actually bring them into being.

Being a parent brings many new demands, writes Nicholas Messing, both emotionally and physically. You find yourself faced with the intense vulnerability of this little person and in the first few months in particular, a likely feeling of the overwhelming burden of keeping your baby alive. As months go by, sleeplessness may become routine and it can feel like a struggle to get through the day. Other responsibilities begin to creep back in, or never even left. You might feel quite alone in all that you have to do and in your struggle in your new role, yet it is so hard to ask for help, to reach out to your partner, friends or family. Asking for help means admitting both to yourself and to other people that you cannot do this alone. It means acknowledging hard thoughts and feelings, of at times maybe resenting your baby, feeling angry and frustrated, even helpless. Growing up, it might be that those who cared for you did not seem to be able or want to notice when you were upset and when you were in need. You learnt that you needed to find ways to manage these feelings by yourself, that these experiences you had, these types of thoughts and emotions were unwanted and pushed away by other people. You learnt to hide vulnerability and as an adult to develop ways to feel in control of your circumstances. This is all shaken apart by the arrival of your baby, as they are a separate person and you know you cannot control them, determine how they will be and respond. Even more so is your knowledge that your baby needs your help with all that they feel, the very experience that was possibly absent for you, you are now needing to try to offer to another person. Perhaps in childhood it felt as if demands were made upon you, to achieve, to strive, that conditions were placed upon feeling loved, accepted, or wanted by your parents. These communications may not have always been obvious, but were inherent in the quality of your interactions in your childhood home. It could be communicated through a look, a turning away, an absence of affection, a disappointed tone, a parent who was rarely at home. All of this telling you, you had let your parent down, you had not done well enough. It is important to state that your parents did not intentionally set out so that you felt this way, they likely, like the vast majority of parents, strove to do the best they could. These types of communication are borne from your parents own understanding of themselves and relationships, come to be repeated with you. These feelings are, as maybe for you, large to the point of overwhelming, so they had a major impact on how they saw the world, themselves and of course you. To show vulnerability, to admit that you need help and cannot do it all the time, might mean for you that you have failed. A common thought may be to think that someone else always has it tougher, that you are therefore unworthy of the support and care of others.  If we grow up with this perception then we might have found that we have formed relationships with others that confirm this belief. So perhaps you have tried to ask for support, but other people seem to minimise or even dismiss what you tell them. This may be a common experience for you in relationships. Therapy allows for the exploration of what takes place both within you and between you and your partner and your baby. It offers the opportunity for those parts of yourself that have been so hard to look at, that you have maybe felt ashamed of, unwanted by others and you, to become gradually accepted, to be acknowledged as part of who you are.  It makes caring for your little one more manageable, that you find you are less fearful of the expressions of their feelings, that you are more able to help them and being with them becomes more rewarding.

In recent times I find people often treat low-energy seasons, both literally and metaphorically as obstacles to get through. In the press there is a strong narrative to “fight” the winter blues, to “overcome” burnout, and “push through” tiredness. What if we have got this approach entirely wrong? Katherine May, the British writer of a gem of a book: Wintering, frames these periods not as failures, but as necessary, restorative phases of the human cycle. Psychology offers us a language to understand why. The Critical Role of Rest Psychologist Anders Ericsson’s research on expertise revealed a non-negotiable truth: Elite performers achieve mastery not through endless grind, but through deliberate practice punctuated by deliberate rest. The brain consolidates learning and repairs itself during downtime. Wintering is the ultimate deliberate rest, a full-system consolidation. Yet, we resist. And social psychology tells us why: In cultures that glorify “the hustle,” rest feels like deviance or a guilty pleasure. We fear falling behind, violating the unwritten rules of productivity. This creates cognitive dissonance, the discomfort of holding two conflicting beliefs (“I need rest” vs “rest is lazy”). Too often, we resolve it by abandoning rest, not the unrealistic belief. Acceptance, Not Forced Positivity The field of Clinical Psychology, particularly through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), gives us a better tool. ACT teaches that struggling against difficult emotions amplifies suffering. The classic “What we resist, persists.” Wintering invites us to practice psychological acceptance: To acknowledge the sadness, the quiet of depletion, or the stillness of uncertainty without immediate judgment or a frantic plan to fix it. This is not passive resignation. It is the active choice to stop fighting the weather of your own mind. How to Winter, Psychologically: 1. Reframe the narrative: Use cognitive restructuring (a CBT technique) to challenge thoughts like “This is wasted time.” Replace them with: “This is a necessary phase of my cycle.” 2. Practice self-compassion: Drawn from the work of Kristin Neff. Speak to yourself about your fatigue or low mood with the kindness you would offer a friend. This reduces the shame that amplifies winter’s chill. 3. Embrace ritual: Behavioural psychology shows us that small, consistent actions anchor us. A morning tea, a daily walk in the weak sun, lighting a candle. These are behavioural activation not to force cheer, but to provide gentle, rhythmic structure. 4. Lower the Bar: Temporarily reduce cognitive load. This again is not failure; it is energy management. Conserve your finite willpower and executive function, as studied by researchers like Roy Baumeister. Wintering is not a pathology to cure with light boxes and forced gratitude although both have their place. It’s a psychological season. A time to retreat, reflect, restore and repair. The promise of spring is not some sort of reward for surviving winter, but that it is the natural, eventual outcome of having allowed the winter to do its essential, quiet work.

By Dr Caroline Taylor This blog follows on from my goal-setting and completion in therapy blog. It is somewhat inspired by the late, great Dr Michael Mosley. In my last blog I suggested that one goal is enough. Certainly, one goal at a time is enough. It allows us to have a focus and really understand the impact that the goal has on your life once achieved. I invite you to ponder on how your life would change if you focused on changing just one thing. For instance, what would happen to your life if your mind was clear of worry? How would you feel if you noticed when you have done something well, rather than dismissing or minimising your success? What would it be like to focus on getting a great night’s sleep? How would your day be if you woke refreshed and energised? How would your day be if you ensured that you experience a sense of achievement and a sense of enjoyment each day? How would you feel if you were kind to yourself, rather than being your own worst critic? When we focus on just one thing, we can devise elegant formulations and a shared treatment plan that will lead to your success. We can also get extra benefits from focusing on just one goal, as behaviour tends to generalise. By which I mean habits spread in the direction we are already behaviourally engaged. I think we can all probably identify with a slip from the behaviour we had planned, and how that can then spread. Perhaps we don’t go to the gym or exercise class after work, as planned, and then we pick up a bottle of wine and order a pizza, then rummage for the ice cream in the freezer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those behaviours, unless you berate yourself for not following your plan, and it starts to spread over time, and you are not behaving in the way you want to. The good news is that healthy behaviours generalise too. We could make a goal and then find ourselves engaging in additional healthy behaviours spontaneously. You can change your life with just one thing, just one goal.

Re-Creating Home After Change When life changes, writes Dr Julie Hannan, Counselling Psychologist, many of us feel an almost instinctive pull to tidy, paint, rearrange, or add something new to our homes. We call it nesting when someone prepares for a baby, but the same impulse often appears at other major turning points — when children leave home, after a breakup, or during recovery from illness or loss. It may look like simple redecorating, but beneath it lies something deeply psychological: an attempt to make the external world match an inner shift.   Home as a mirror of the self Psychologists have long recognised that our surroundings act as an extension of identity. The objects, colours, and routines that make up 'home' help to stabilise our sense of self. When life feels chaotic, reorganising that environment becomes a way of regaining coherence. Creating order where there was mess, or introducing warmth where life feels cold, allows the nervous system to settle. It's a small, tangible declaration: I can shape something.   In therapy, we often see that, after periods of upheaval, people reach a point where energy that was once bound in anxiety starts to turn outward again. Rearranging a room, clearing a cupboard, or buying new sheets can mark the beginning of psychological recovery — a quiet signal that the psyche is ready to move from survival into renewal.   Nesting as meaning making Nesting isn't only about control, it's about meaning. Making a space yours again helps to integrate a new chapter of life. For parents adjusting to an empty house, it may express the shift from caretaking others to reconnecting with themselves. For someone recovering from loss, it can represent the courage to reclaim life. Even seasonal nesting — changing décor as the light fades — acknowledges our ongoing relationship with time, reminding us that adaptation is a natural process. This process is symbolic. As the environment transforms, so does the story we tell ourselves about who we are becoming.   Why it soothes From a psychological standpoint, nesting supports two important needs: Grounding through sensory regulation. Physical movement, colour, texture, and scent all stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the body. Agency through micro-control. When larger life events feel beyond our influence, small, successful acts of organisation provide reassurance and rebuild confidence. In short, nesting bridges body and mind. It allows action to lead emotion.   Healthy versus pressured nesting Of course, not all nesting is restorative. For some, it can tip into perfectionism or avoidance — an attempt to tidy feelings rather than experience them. The difference lies in intention: are you making space to breathe, or trying to erase discomfort? Healthy nesting feels rhythmic and satisfying. It's gentle, sensory, and leaves you calmer. Pressure-driven nesting feels frantic and rarely offers relief. The invitation is to slow down and let the process be symbolic rather than cosmetic.   Practical reflections Start small: choose one drawer, one corner, or one ritual that represents care. Engage your senses: light a candle, open a window, play music — bring embodiment into your space. Let go intentionally: releasing an object can mirror the release of an outdated role or expectation. These actions can feel existentially freeing. Notice what new energy wants to emerge: what colours, textures, or routines feel like you, now? Experiment with this and observe whether the energy increases, remains the same, or decreases.   The deeper message Ultimately, nesting is a way of saying to yourself, I still matter in this space. It's how we reclaim a sense of belonging after transition. In a world that moves quickly, taking time to make a corner of it peaceful is not indulgent; it's reparative. Home becomes less about walls and furniture, and more about the act of coming back to yourself. When life changes, the nest changes — and in rebuilding it, we rebuild our sense of meaning.   References & Suggested Reading   Kaplan, R. (1995). The restorative benefits of nature: Toward an integrative framework. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 15(3), 169–182.   Csikszentmihalyi, M., &; Rochberg-Halton, E. (1981). The Meaning of Things: Domestic Symbols and the Self. Cambridge University Press.   Proshansky, H. M., Fabian, A. K., &; Kaminoff, R. (1983). Place-identity: Physical world socialisation of the self. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 3(1), 57–83.   Pohl, R. (2018). Home as a psychological anchor in times of transition. Counselling Psychology Review, 33(2), 12–18.

Anxiety is one of the most common symptom that women can experience during  perimenopause and can often appear before women experience common perimenopausal symptoms e.g. hot-flushes or night sweat.  Overall, women are twice as likely than men to have anxiety difficulties, but the changes in hormones during the perimenopause and menopause, can trigger and  worsen symptoms of anxiety . Menopause and perimenopause can act like a torch shining light on issues that had already existed and were not dealt with.  Anxiety can occur at any stage of the perimenopause. It can appear in very early during the perimenopause before your periods have changed. It can start subtly and you may not realise that it’s related to the perimenopause.  The increase stress during perimenopause and menopause can further contribute to anxiety during menopause.  As sleep quality declines along with other bodily challenges in the gut or immune system stress increases. If you are experiencing anxiety you certainly aren’t alone. Anxiety can happen to anyone including those who’ve never experienced mental health difficulties. Perimenopause is challenging time with lots of changes that requires a new set of  approach.  Physical symptoms of perimenopausal anxiety: • Fast heart rate • Heart palpitations • The feeling of nausea • Shaking • Sweating • Dry mouth • Chest pain • Headaches • Fast breathing • Panic attacks • Sleep disturbances  • Irritability  What causes perimenopause-related anxiety? During the perimenopause and menopause, a many changes happening at the same time, so it can be difficult to attribute the exact cause of your anxiety. Anxiety can be related to underline depression. Like depression, anxiety can occur because falling oestrogen levels.  The oestrogen levels are also linked to cortisol levels (the hormone of stress ) so that when oestrogen levels drop, cortisol levels rise. It is likely that other hormones and chemical factors are also involved.  How can anxiety be treated? CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is an evidence-based approach to therapy which is used by clinical psychologists to treat a new healthy ways of thinking and to develop strategies to better manage perimenopausal anxiety symptoms. CBT Recommended by NICE for the treatment of anxiety and depression in perimenopausal women. Women going through perimenopause often report feeling stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. And many women will know just how easy it is to get caught up in a vicious cycle of anxiety, fatigue, low mood, and a feeling that you just can’t cope. Clinical psychologist can use CBT to address specific issues such as anger and mood swings, insomnia, intrusive or overwhelming thoughts, or low self-esteem; and develop strategies to resolve issues such as problem drinking and binge eating which are common when going through perimenopause. Studies show that perimenopausal symptoms such as night sweats, hot flushes and anxiety are commonly triggered in response to life stressors but by using CBT you can learn to develop healthy ways of managing stress which in turn, may reduce the incidences and severity of these symptoms. Clinical psychologist recognises that perimenopause is serious and challenging. Perimenopause can last anywhere from four to 10 years, when including perimenopause and the years of continuing symptoms after periods stop entirely. Perimenopause counselling and CBT with a clinical psychologist who is highly rated experts in their field and truly care about their clients.  The benefits of talk therapy with a clinical psychologist for menopause  Perimenopause counselling provides a confidential and safe space to process your thoughts and feelings feel heard and understood at last around your perimenopause concerns  learn evidence-based techniques for handling stress, negative thinking, and low moods troubleshoot family relationship problems, work issues, or health concerns discuss your changing life roles and identity set new life goals and have support to bring them to fruition.

A Compassionate Guide to Avoiding Christmas Burnout by Dr Sarah Jane Khalid, Holistic Psychologist There is a quiet little secret many of us share during the holidays. Amidst the glittering lights and joyful carols, there’s a whisper of deep exhaustion, a feeling of being stretched too thin for too long. If that sounds familiar, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. We are often sold a picture of the “perfect Christmas,” one filled with non-stop cheer, flawless bountiful meals, gorgeous table settings and beautifully wrapped presents. And chasing this ideal can leave us feeling drained, anxious, and anything but merry. This year, I invite you to do things differently. Let's use a little bit of psychological wisdom to protect our peace and find the genuine joy in the season. You are giving yourself a permission slip to be kinder to yourself. 1. Give Yourself the Gift of “Enough” (The Science of the “Good Enough” Holiday) In the 1950s, a psychologist called Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of the “Good Enough Mother.” His idea was that parents do not need to be perfect; they just need to be “good enough” to raise well-adjusted children. This concept is a lifesaver for the holidays. Instead of striving for a perfect Christmas, aim for a “good enough” one. Yes, the turkey might be a little dry or burnt, the wrapping paper might not match, and you might buy mince pies instead of baking them from scratch. And that is more than okay! “Good enough” creates space for authenticity, connection, and, most importantly, rest. Give yourself permission to lower the bar from Martha Stewart to Happy and Present. 2. Protect Your Energy: It's Okay to Say “No, Thank You” Psychology has long studied a concept called “ego depletion,” which suggests that we have a limited pool of mental resources for self-control and decision-making. Every party you feel obligated to attend, every extra task you take on, drains that pool. I cannot stress enough the importance of being the guardian of your own energy. You do not need to say yes to every event or fulfil every request. A gentle, “Thank you so much for the invitation! I won't be able to make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time,” is a complete sentence. Prioritize the events and traditions that truly fill your cup and let the rest go without guilt. Protecting your peace is not selfish; it's essential. 3. Find Your Silent Night: The Power of a Pause The constant stimulation of the season can overwhelm our nervous systems. Research on stress and the nervous system shows that we need moments of quiet to counterbalance the fight-or-flight response that busyness can trigger. Schedule a Christmas Silent Night for yourself before Christmas Eve. It could be 15 minutes with a cup of tea and no phone, a short walk in the crisp air, or simply sitting by the Christmas tree lights in silence. This is not wasted time; it is an investment in your well-being that allows you to reset and find your centre. 4. Connect Over Comparison: Choose Presence over Presents A famous Harvard study on adult development has consistently found that strong social connections are the single biggest predictor of long-term happiness and health. The holidays, at their core, are about connection. Yet social media often twists this into a competition of who has the most photogenic family or the most extravagant gifts. When you feel the pull to compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel, gently redirect your focus. Put your phone down. Play a simple board game. Ask a relative a question about their childhood Christmases. True, warm, face-to-face connection is the real magic of the season, and it is a far more powerful antidepressant than any number of “likes” or “loves” on posts that give a brief dopamine hit. 5. Practice Self-Compassion: Talk to Yourself Like a Friend Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, teaches that being kind to ourselves in moments of failure or stress is crucial for resilience. When you burn the Christmas cookies or forget to send a card, what does your inner voice say? If you make a mistake, talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. You might say, “Oh sweetheart, you're trying to do so much! It's okay that the cookies got a little crispy. We will laugh about this later.” This simple shift from self-criticism to self-kindness can dissolve a huge amount of holiday stress. Please Know That Your Well-Being is the Greatest Gift This Christmas, remember that the most important person you can give a gift to is yourself. The gift of rest. The gift of boundaries. The gift of “good enough.” This is a reclamation of our time. My wish for you is for this season to be less about performance and more about presence. Less about perfection and more about peace. You deserve a holiday that feels joyful, not joyless. Be gentle with your heart and body — you are doing better than you imagine. Wishing you a calm and connected Christmas, Dr Sarah Jane Khalid

In recent months I’ve had a few clients share with me that they have used AI for psychological support between our sessions, writes Dr Prarthana Shetty. My initial reaction was curiosity, but I also noticed some defensiveness and skepticism. In the interest of keeping an open mind and trying to understand my clients’ experiences, I decided to try it myself. I used a popular AI chatbot and began with relatively basic prompts about everyday stressors. It produced a steady stream of validation and supportive advice. As I went deeper, however, it felt like something was missing. The responses were thoughtfully crafted, the tone was gentle and warm, but the speed with which the chatbot responded was a bit unsettling. I realized that it was missing the rhythm of therapy; holding space for the discomfort, allowing time to remain with a thought, having your emotional subtext noticed and named. As a counselling psychologist, to me the healing is in the therapeutic relationship. It is about attunement; making my clients feel seen and heard. This is where I felt the AI chatbot fell short. There was no space for sitting with the messy feelings. There was reflection, but it lacked depth and real connection. While I wouldn’t call AI a therapist, I recognise that it can be of value to someone who may be feeling vulnerable between therapy sessions or indeed can’t afford regular sessions. There are ethical issues to be considered too, including its ability to recognise a mental health crisis that requires immediate intervention. AI is an excellent and accessible starting point, and there is comfort to be found in non- judgmental validation and coping strategies. However, for deep emotional wounds such as attachment issues and complex trauma, I’m not convinced that it can replace the responsiveness and relational depth a trained practitioner can provide. AI plays a valuable role in making psychological support accessible, but it is the human response that leads to deep, lasting transformation.

Living with ADHD can sometimes feel like being tuned into every channel at once — ideas, emotions, and tasks all competing for your attention. While this can bring energy and creativity, it can also make daily life feel overwhelming. At Hampstead Psychology, we work with adults and young people to help them understand their ADHD, develop practical strategies, and build a more compassionate relationship with themselves. Understanding ADHD Beyond the Stereotypes ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t simply about being distracted or hyperactive. It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain regulates attention, motivation, and emotions. For many people, the challenges include: Difficulty maintaining focus , especially on routine or uninteresting tasks Emotional intensity , such as frustration, rejection sensitivity, or restlessness Time management and organisation struggles  — starting many things, finishing few Periods of hyperfocus , where attention locks onto a task for hours These patterns are not signs of laziness or lack of effort. They reflect how the ADHD brain processes information — often quickly, creatively, and sometimes chaotically. The Emotional Side of ADHD ADHD can affect self-esteem and relationships. Many people grow up being told they’re careless or inconsistent, which can lead to shame or self-criticism in adulthood. At Hampstead Psychology, we often see clients who are deeply self-aware but exhausted from trying to “mask” their ADHD or meet unrealistic expectations. Therapy can help you explore these emotional layers — building self-acceptance, identifying strengths, and replacing self-criticism with understanding. Building a Supportive Environment Living with ADHD is not just about learning new techniques; it’s about creating systems and environments that work for you. This might include: Externalising reminders  — using visual cues, lists, or digital tools Chunking tasks  into small, achievable steps Working with your natural energy rhythms  rather than against them Communicating openly  with partners, friends, or colleagues about how ADHD shows up for you In couples therapy, for example, we help partners move from frustration (“Why can’t you just focus?”) to empathy (“How can we make this easier together?”). Understanding ADHD can transform not only personal wellbeing but also how relationships function day to day. Compassion as a Form of Focus One of the most powerful shifts for people with ADHD is learning to treat themselves with kindness. Self-criticism drains motivation and reinforces shame, while compassion helps you regulate emotions and sustain change. Therapeutic approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)  and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)  can be particularly helpful here — supporting practical change while addressing the emotional challenges that often accompany ADHD. Getting Support If you’re living with ADHD — diagnosed or undiagnosed — therapy can help you understand your mind, develop tools to manage daily life, and reconnect with your strengths. At Hampstead Psychology , our clinicians are experienced in working with ADHD in adults and young people. We offer both individual and couples therapy, online or in person. You don’t have to “try harder.” You can learn to work with  your brain, not against it.