When a serious health scare changes your sense of self

We tend to think of a serious health scare as something that happens to our body.

Before it happened, you probably knew what your body could do and didn't spend much time thinking about it. Afterwards, you may have become aware of your body in a completely different way. Things you previously did without thinking may now require planning, resting or asking for help. You may not have the same energy or concentration, or feel able to work and function in quite the same way.

And I think this can bring up something deeper than frustration about not being able to do what you used to. If you've always seen yourself as someone who is strong, capable or productive, it can be difficult when your health suddenly means you can't do things that once felt straightforward. You may know intellectually that you're dealing with something significant, but that doesn't necessarily stop you from feeling frustrated, embarrassed or even a bit lost about what you're able to do now. There can be something unsettling about not knowing whether this is temporary, whether things will return to how they were, or what your life might look like if they don't.

Recovery therefore isn't always as straightforward as getting physically better. There can be a process of working out who you are now, alongside what your body can and can't do. This doesn't mean giving up on the things that matter to you, even if some things may need to look different. It might mean allowing your sense of self to become a little less dependent on what you can produce, how much you can do, or how well you can cope. Sometimes, recovery also involves making space for your new reality, rather than simply trying to get your body back to where it was.