Perfectionism: When High Standards Become Anxiety

Perfectionism is so widespread, it can go unseen or unquestioned - "I’m a

perfectionist" is a classic job interview statement. But clinical perfectionism is not a

healthy trait. It thrives on the belief that anything short of flawless is to some degree

unacceptable - but you don’t have to lower your standards to change this, just work

towards more acceptance of mistakes.

In therapy this often starts with defining the actual difference between aiming to do

well (trying hard) and perfectionism (tying your self worth into achieving the best).

The first drives growth, the second drives anxiety and avoidance. Before you begin

a task, you set yourself a thought-through threshold for 'good enough'. Once you reach good enough, stop - even if part of you wants to keep polishing and

improving.

Time-boxing helps too: give a task a fixed window rather than an open-ended one,

which forces you to release it rather than endlessly refine it. It also helps to

deliberately practice imperfection in low-stakes situations - sending an email with

a small typo, trying a hobby you're bad at. You can get used to making mistakes

without feeling they are something shameless.

Finally, notice the self-talk: perfectionists often mistake harsh internal criticism for

motivation, when in reality self-compassion tends to produce more consistent effort

and creativity over time, precisely because it removes the fear that keeps people

stuck before they even start.