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Dr Nicholas Messing

Nicholas Messing

25+ years of experience

Nicholas works with adults, children, parents, and families experiencing emotional distress, relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression, parenting challenges, and concerns about a child’s emotional or behavioural wellbeing. He has particular expertise in helping clients understand how current difficulties may be shaped by earlier experiences, important relationships, family dynamics, and patterns that are not always immediately visible.

Nicholas trained as a Counselling Psychologist over 20 years ago and is also qualified as a Parent–Infant Psychotherapist. He has spent much of his career working within the NHS across adult, child and family, and parent and baby services. He has held clinical lead roles and supervised multidisciplinary teams, bringing substantial senior clinical experience to his therapeutic work.

Nicholas works psychoanalytically and psychodynamically, with a strong focus on understanding the meaning of emotional distress. Nicholas helps clients explore the deeper patterns, conflicts, feelings, and relational experiences that may be shaping how they feel, relate, parent, or cope. This can be particularly helpful for people who sense that their difficulties have roots in longstanding patterns, early experiences, or complex relationship dynamics.

A significant part of Nicholas’s work involves supporting children and families when a young person is experiencing emotional or behavioural difficulties and parents are unsure how best to respond. He offers individual therapy with children, as well as joint sessions with children and parents. This work may use child-led play to help children express feelings that are difficult to put into words, while also supporting parents to better understand their child’s emotional world and strengthen the parent–child relationship.

Nicholas also works with expectant parents, mothers, fathers, carers, couples, and babies. This can be particularly valuable when early parenthood feels difficult, overwhelming, or emotionally complicated. His parent–infant work helps parents make sense of the emotional demands of caring for a baby, understand what may be happening between parent and child, and build greater confidence and connection in the parenting relationship.

Nicholas’s style is thoughtful, reflective, calm, and relational. He offers a discreet and carefully considered therapeutic approach for clients who want to understand themselves, their relationships, or their family dynamics in greater depth. His work supports change through insight: helping clients recognise patterns, make sense of emotional responses, and develop a more considered, flexible, and connected way of relating to themselves and others.

Nicholas works from a consulting room in Uxbridge, West London, and also offers online therapy.

Therapy Types I Am Expert In

  • Parent-Infant Psychotherapy

  • Play Therapy

  • Psychodynamic Therapy

What I can help you with

  • Anxiety

  • Behavioural difficulties for children age 0-11 years.

  • Emotional difficulties for children aged 0-11 years.

  • Depression

  • Difficulties in perinatal period

  • Childhood trauma

  • Generalised Anxiety

  • Grief and Bereavement

  • Parent and Child Relationships for under 2s

  • Post-natal depression

  • Social Anxiety

  • Stress and Burnout

Accreditations

  • Health and Care Professionals Council

  • British Psychological Society

Enquiry Form

Hampstead Psychology is a primary care service and does not provide crisis or secondary care mental health support. If you, or the person you are enquiring for, is currently experiencing active suicidal thoughts, anorexia, or difficulties such as psychosis, bipolar disorder, or severe personality or conduct disorder (whether current or previously diagnosed), we are not the right service. In these circumstances, please contact your GP or call NHS 111 for appropriate support and guidance.

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Modern Living Room

Let's Talk

You can call 020 3488 2438 to discuss your needs with one of our clinical team.

 

Or use the 'contact us' form and our triage team will be in touch with you about next steps, whether that is to have an initial chat with a psychologist or booking in for an appointment at one of our clinics or online.
 

Office hours are 09:00 - 17:00 Monday to Friday.​ We have evening and weekend appointments available.​

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